i’ve been have been gain ground, slowly, nonetheless not alone! i won’t say at this time by whom, other than i am grateful…
On a different note;
i will do my best to continue the tale of a thousand dreams!
Let’s start about the presents in the everyday moment.. i’m not bitching, or ask for sympathy, however donations would be helpful only not needed as you all know! i’ve struggle, yet gaining ground, in any sense of the way… i’ve already done more that we had invitationed… You see i am the human equation, something they fear in taking that chance in something way beyond what you refused to believe! A part of their plan, which was designed to focus on me, be the paranormal started over hundred of thousands of year ago… i will not go into what i have done, yet say! Best leave those involved alone! That’s not, a threat, but a promise!
This is one of my night spots, where I’m forced to sleep because of Canadian law… Now i would like to let you know, that i will not go into, what happens there ,it’s none of your business at present moment, possibly at a later date…
September 13, 12
I woke up this morning and my friend Stan had left me a couple of pairs of 501 jeans, now the thought was nice but I am wondering if he took the time to see that they had no wholes because in each pair the crotch was very air-conditioned if you know what I mean. My thought, return them, give Stan a heartfelt thanks but no-thanks. Now if he asks why? I should surely ask if he would wear the jeans? Stan is great guy, such a perfectionist with everything that he does. How Stan had over see this one I had to wonder where his mind was at. Koo-Doo’s Stan…
I see that there is now a new Vancouver Police Officer on a mountain bike patrolling the neighbourhood. Being the paranoid person that I am, stop to think that because I have bothered the Neighbourhood Ambassador’s with taking their photos when ever I get the opportunity. The ambassadors have never bothered me but they sure have given Stick a lot of problems with his panning on the street during the rush-hour traffic. Now Stick is only trying to make buck for beer and what ever.
I am sitting in McDonald where I go every morning for my coffee and muffin and have the opportunity to connect to the free Internet. The same women working counter every morning has seen me do this for I don’t know how long. She must not like me or maybe she doesn’t like the homeless street people because most of the time that I order from her she doesn’t give me a tray. Now call me strange, (Yes we know that I am but that’s beside the point) Now why can’t I have a tray like everybody else? I believe that I am of the human family like some of the others that I see ordering their breakfast each morning.
I would say that simple thing move simple minds such as myself. Boy do I have it rough, when not getting a tray throws me for a loop… It would seem there is far too much spare time on my hands…
Toad (chris jensen)
August 28, 12
I need to say thank you to Stick for getting me here this morning. Stick doesn’t realize how much he has helped. Right at this moment I would be waiting to get into the bank, I’d have already spent two hundred dollars and the bank machine will only give me the daily limit. Without the help of Stick I would have been downtown performing some place and who knows what could happen. When I am performing it’s like playing Russian Rolette with your life… Maybe Stick can understand how grateful I am for getting through the rough time last night with a little friendship and a couple of beers. A great big thank you Stick.
Now I believe I can move on and get some things done that needs to be done this afternoon. I want to go to Mountain Equipment Coop and pick up some new wheels for my bike and trailer and anything else if I have enough left on my daily limit.
I am going take my time getting to the store by binning on the way to the bottle depot. The binning could be good if the other binners are picking up their checks around this time of day. O yes I need to buy Roger a half sack of beer for the wire he surely pointed out to me a couple of weeks ago.
When I woke-up this morn I was in a daze sitting up quickly when Stick said it was nine-o-clock because we need be out of the under ground parking lot before people who work at the restaurant begin getting to work in the morning. Anyway I felt like shit I’m telling you it was bad, I can’t imagine going through something like this every morning, like Stick does. He has said that it can be worse, only this morning he said that I looked worse than he felt. I had to laugh, he told me that he would laugh at me all day because it only took a couple of beers for me to get in this kind of shape. However after having a coffee and some breakfast at McDonald I am feel just a little better but able to function now, there is some much to get done it would be smart for me to take it really slow in getting started. Step back and smell the roses, one would say.
June 1, 2012
Another brand new month, o-my what a wonderful life, It couldn’t get much better than what I have now. I spent the whole day at the park lying around doing nothing except sleeping and eating. I should get off my ass today and do some binning. I will make my way down to the office to pick up one of my checks.
I’m having trouble understanding Stan, now when I see him he is either leaving of just passing by, a simple hello, then away we go. What’s up with that? People, you can’t live with them and can’t live without them.
I have contemplated about going to the house to work on the gutters, I’m not looking forward to doing this kind of work because it involves getting up on the roof and I don’t like heights. I still have a healthy fear of falling…
I have wondered what happen to the chocolate muffin at McDonald’s. Now I have to get the blueberry, which is OK but just doesn’t cut it. If only that was my biggest problem of the day, not having a chocolate muffin. I find it funny how a few well-placed comas will fix a sentence. For this grade six adult comas make my day. Yes, life full of it’s wonders and delights.
I should make some posts on the blog; this blogging can be never-ending.
It’s funny that one of the things that I miss about my father would be shining his shoes, how I hated to do this simple task and bitch every time… Maybe I could dig out a pair of his shoe and give them a good shine…
Now yesterday turned out to be an interesting day and the best part of the screwed up day was with myself play some pepper-spray and getting it all over me, the worst place that this pepper-spray invaded was around my private parts, the burning last all-night even now I can still feel the burning in some places on my body. This all started when I had decided to bedded down for the night when this guy who was binning in the alley was giving that feeling of being unsafe. I don’t get this feeling very often, however this guy was creepy and then I pulled out the pepper-spray. This is when the night turned wrong, like child that I am, I started to play with the pepper-spray and then it started leaking all over me. The rest is painful history… Stupidity from me at it best…
Another snip of journal…
I’m sitting on top of the bus bench in front of McDonald’s having my morning coffee and cigarette when this woman, how works across the street at what I believe is a bank data center ask me if I’m hungry and before I could even answer she had handed me five dollars in coins. Like always in my case I never refuse cash money from people, my own reasons are purely greed, however if I were to look at the act of giving from another point of view. It’s not what you give to another person but the act of giving which raises the soul. Now would it be wrong of me to take that away from some bodies uplifting action of giving.
I will post this little snipped for my journal in my blog. My reason I don’t even know just feel that it would be giving a part of me that other could judge and decide for them selves who or what I am. I live on the street and am happy in a strange sense of way. Family believes that I could do better for myself, I don’t think look at my lifestyle in the same way. Like how fulfilled I am to go about my day wandering the alleys looking for what ever I could make a little money with, the bottle which I pickup are instant cash. As an addict living on the street I do my best to stay out of the public eyes, keep myself contained within the alleys of Vancouver.
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My living on the street and the drugs I do is not what the family wishes for me and they say ” you can do better for myself.” I don’t see my lifestyle this way! By living on the street I don’t bring my addiction into their lives. In weird and strange way I know that I’m happy. Sometimes it seems really hard; I do have my moments when I would not want to be any where else in life. I never started out to living on the street, I was forced too through bad choices of my own, then it grew on me. Now it is away of life which I enjoy…
chris jensen (thisoldtoad)