A tale of a thousand dreams… (Part five)

i’ve been have been gain ground, slowly, nonetheless not alone!  i won’t say at this time by whom, other than i am grateful…

On a different note;

i will do my best to continue the tale of a thousand dreams!

Let’s start about the presents in the everyday  moment..  i’m not bitching, or ask for sympathy, however donations would be helpful only not needed as you all know!  i’ve struggle, yet gaining ground, in any sense of the way…  i’ve already done more that we had invitationed…  You see i am the human equation, something they fear in taking that chance in something way beyond what you refused to believe!   A part of their plan, which was designed to focus on me, be the paranormal started over hundred of thousands of year ago…  i will not go into what i have done, yet say!  Best leave those involved alone!  That’s not, a threat, but a promise!

This is one of my night spots, where I’m forced to sleep because of Canadian law…  Now i would like to let you know, that i will not go into, what happens there ,it’s none of your business at present moment, possibly at a later date…

A tale of a thousand dreams

Part four…

Life continues for a struggling addict, living in the alleys of Vancouver British Columbia, Canada..

Strange advents be happening regarding my financial situation, unsure yet somehow believe that there is a greater control, now this is all good!  However i fear life’s change,

won’t anybody, whom has been labeled crazy, stuck in a fantasy..

All i’ve ever really wanted is to be me, an to have a family, which would help me understand whom i am?  i feeling a strong belief, that there maybe great changes, an there are those whom, fear the changes would change me within a degree, that i would lose the desire to work on the same puzzles with which i have struggle within my life’s journeys..

i would honestly admit, i would get sidetrack, simply because that’s my nature, nonetheless, believe that i could easily be refocused as easily as i’ve become sidetrack..  Probably an every great worry would that i would lose the ability to solve problems in the same way..  Funny do they really know what, it takes for me to come up with a solution, even i have no idea when the answers come..  Sometime throughout a drug induced nightmare, or in the days afterwards, running across one person, whom i’ve never ever seen, says one word, with which the answers is created..  The answer could come by a kind look, from a passing stranger…

i know my attitude is something less to desire, most time unbearable if not downright rude,

that’s me..

i would like to be the kind sweet guy, however it will take a lot of work more on my part, a willingness to change, which up the topic about those whom fear change would be so great those puzzle would take a back seat..

Possible for a brief moment, however that is whom i am, puzzles seem to be a part of mylife..

It’s the answers when they do come, which fill my heart…

Far as a city Vancouver British Columbia, Canada is where i was born, shall always be home..  ifinn the accept whom i am, would be not my choice..

It would be all up to the city, now i not say that i would please all, even fifty percent, would be a loving bonus..

Normality is what i would like, nonetheless is not possible until i give a gift, which i must be very careful on these thoughts, i may look lifetimes for the right soul, an never find them, stating i will not let go, given to me for a reason, i believe he would say follow your heart, be patient the answer will come, when least expect it..

Tis a loving dream, that’s the gift, not the power of magick…

A snip from my journal…

My living on the street and the drugs I do is not what the family wishes for me and they say ” you can do better for myself.”  I don’t see my lifestyle this way! By living on the street I don’t bring my addiction into their lives.  In weird and strange way I know that I’m happy. Sometimes it seems really hard; I do have my moments when I would not want to be any where else in life.  I never started out to living on the street, I was forced too through bad choices of my own, then it grew on me.  Now it is away of life which I enjoy…

chris jensen (thisoldtoad)