A tale of a thousand dreams

Part four…

Life continues for a struggling addict, living in the alleys of Vancouver British Columbia, Canada..

Strange advents be happening regarding my financial situation, unsure yet somehow believe that there is a greater control, now this is all good!  However i fear life’s change,

won’t anybody, whom has been labeled crazy, stuck in a fantasy..

All i’ve ever really wanted is to be me, an to have a family, which would help me understand whom i am?  i feeling a strong belief, that there maybe great changes, an there are those whom, fear the changes would change me within a degree, that i would lose the desire to work on the same puzzles with which i have struggle within my life’s journeys..

i would honestly admit, i would get sidetrack, simply because that’s my nature, nonetheless, believe that i could easily be refocused as easily as i’ve become sidetrack..  Probably an every great worry would that i would lose the ability to solve problems in the same way..  Funny do they really know what, it takes for me to come up with a solution, even i have no idea when the answers come..  Sometime throughout a drug induced nightmare, or in the days afterwards, running across one person, whom i’ve never ever seen, says one word, with which the answers is created..  The answer could come by a kind look, from a passing stranger…

i know my attitude is something less to desire, most time unbearable if not downright rude,

that’s me..

i would like to be the kind sweet guy, however it will take a lot of work more on my part, a willingness to change, which up the topic about those whom fear change would be so great those puzzle would take a back seat..

Possible for a brief moment, however that is whom i am, puzzles seem to be a part of mylife..

It’s the answers when they do come, which fill my heart…

Far as a city Vancouver British Columbia, Canada is where i was born, shall always be home..  ifinn the accept whom i am, would be not my choice..

It would be all up to the city, now i not say that i would please all, even fifty percent, would be a loving bonus..

Normality is what i would like, nonetheless is not possible until i give a gift, which i must be very careful on these thoughts, i may look lifetimes for the right soul, an never find them, stating i will not let go, given to me for a reason, i believe he would say follow your heart, be patient the answer will come, when least expect it..

Tis a loving dream, that’s the gift, not the power of magick…

A tale of a thousand dreams (Part Two…)

Part Two…

 

Life went on for struggling drug addict, doing his best to understand, past events an to make sense of the all those voices entering an in my head…

 

Special Note;

 

Based theory topic that human’s evolve rather than going to heaven or hell…

 

Theory Outline;

 

There is no god!  Nonetheless, there is a man made god, therefore god did make man!

 

Evolving to the higher collective consciousness…   Next step into human evolutions…

(Sadly part of theory i couldn’t accept, ie that not all sentient being evolve, only those whom awake after their organic vehicle dies.  Those whom don’t wake become dark matter floating within space…  (i’ve named them dead or sleeping souls..  Dark matter being their graveyard or place of eternal rest!)

 

Theory included or related science projects;

 

Reaching the collect;

 

(Finding ways to reach the collective of the evolved sentient life forms (evolved humans) reason being to bring back Knowledge or anything useful to move mankind farther a head)

 

Special Note;

 

Reason of Outline of based theory..  i am of the firm belief that we have been held back in the propor evolution of our human species..  (i had not see the view, or what or whom had set the human-race so far behind and the reasons…  (You could say the even my theories started to evolve!)

 

As in this moment, or anytime i come back to the tail of a thousand dreams as i place memories of this tale, long into the future, passed events, which have not been told throughout, The Tale of a thousand dreams….

 

So sorry i’m always get caught or sidetrack, as in anything i do…  Also my sense of time, just won’t relate to reality even throughout past an future..

 

Back to reaching the collective;

 

Unproven science project, however one attempt using myself as the lab experiment, (however i did in form other party, i would be conducting said experiment, (knowing they would refuse, not understand, that they were important park of experiment..  In any of my experiments i won’t place any other life in jeopardy i use them safely an not in any life threatening manner throughout all of my experiments..

 

Experiment Results;

 

Personally i found the experiment very enlightening, concluding that possibly in keeping, (One foot in today, while the other is in tomorrow!), nonetheless balancing on a very thin thread holding me between the two worlds…

 

Reaching for lack of better words the mystical doorway, which i have seen many times in the past…  For myself, i used cocaine, injecting an extreme amount, that i would not recommend any others using these amounts, the results may lead to death…  i’ve always walked a thin line, between life an death without any fear of dying…

 

Monks

 

There was only one other group, following a similar theory, these were monks, we discussed thoughts about reach the same collective, only they used meditation instead of drugs.. i will try and go into more detail about our meeting, which is a little story within itself..

 

Problems in both of our research, in how to hold onto today.. If we left today, we would leave one world arriving in our new home, which really is not all that bad, only that we would have failed in bring back any knowledge…

 

i believed i had found a way, in keeping myself lock into today, yet moving through the mystical doorway of tomorrow touching the collective mind..  Time was an trust was the only fear of possible failure in the next experiment…

 

Proposed Next Experiment;

 

i would once again reach the level of consciousness by using the proper amount of cocaine, also being aroused by sexual pleasure, knowing that as i pass through the doorway time my orgasim peak was the key moment as to the time to make my move back…  The peak of the very intense pleasure, may or may not waken me as i am with the extreme noise of the collective mind, also in reminding me within my subconscious mind, what i must let go of tomorrow in order to stay in today..  Now if i make it back, i truthfully don’t know that i would bring back memories of anything related to my visit into tomorrow..  i strong about the belief that i could bring back just a little knowledge or something useful in speeding up human evolution…

 

Problem with this experiment now is that i don’t trust the one an only person able to keep tied into today, while i walk through the doorway of tomorrow..  Sadly i have not found, any other capable of creating the euphoric thread in holding me an alerting me that i should make my way back into today’s reality..

 

Back to the Monks;

 

i had gone into one of those super markets, probably look for my favourite junk food, an a man approached me..  From what i can remember somehow we ended up travelling on the city bus line, we had made our way to the back of the bus..  i i found extremely strange nobody would sit near us, an they seem to pay their respect to the gentleman that i was having this conversation with, bowing as they moved away…  At that time i had no idea whom is was only that he was interested in similar thoughts.  As the conversation went on i began to realize he was interested in the way i’d had planned the science project of keeping oneself in today, while visiting tomorrow..  We went on discussing ideas, this where i believe that i realized i was talking to a monk, because they used a extreme discipline of meditation in moving through what i called a doorway, don’t remember if they gave the window or doorway a name?  Surprisingly we passed thoughts back an forth, upon conclusion i left the bus not realizing what really had happened, it was like fantasy dream..

 

Back to life living on the Street;

 

Days went on, same old digging in dumpsters, doing what i always did, spend time thinking about an research throughout the web, mostly using wikipedia, in try to learn an understand all those thoughts and how they fit into place…
During these time, i would always talk about my theories an thoughts about, to those i meet on the street within my life journey..  funny in a sense i was preaching my way to others, just like the church did…  It took sometime for me to accept this idea, however soon realize them whom complain about hearing the same thoughts over an over where right!